Dear “friend” it’s time for you to leave.

Anxiety is defined as being ” a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome”. I often felt like anxiety is more like a fake friend who doesn’t let you do and enjoy a lot of things. A lot of people has it, in all her different forms but few talk about it so in this post I am trying to give anxiety a shape, as an unwanted guest.
So let’s talk freely here, leave comments down below and let’s help people understand it better.

” I known you for years. I guess I’ve known you since I started to become more aware of my feelings, of myself. We continued to be friends over the last couple of years even though I didn’t really wanted to. I went and faced life in a lot of ways, many of which I preferred that never happened and you at one moment saw an opportunity and decided to stay and start to build your life.
You started with a small, one room house, but as I grew older you realized that a house can be build with lost dreams and the goals I didn’t accomplished , so you took that all from me and made yourself a real mansion. Soon after, a garden began to come to life and you watered it so much sometimes that I started crying without any reason many times.
Then, you started eating motivation for your meals and every time I tried to meditate so I can gain my confidence back you started playing crappy music to make sure I would not concentrate.
I decided to stay in my house a lot. To be lonely, to be afraid to walk on the streets keeping my head up, to be afraid that everyone will look at me and think a lot of bad things and not a single good one. I became vulnerable. I started thinking that I will not achieve a lot of things in my life and that I should be ok with it. I bet you laughed your ass off whenever I read a self improvement book.
So I started thinking. I didn’t gave you a name over these years but I had a strange feeling that you were called “Anxiety”. You manifested in a lot of ways and some people could say that I was only being childish or not good enough at things. You made me anxious, still do, you made me not fall in love with myself because I thought that I did not deserve it, you made me be a lot of things that I hated, you made me feel like I did not belong anywhere and you made me stay aside on parties. I have asked you “why?” many times but you were to stubborn to answer.
Then, one day I’ve decided that you are not welcomed anymore.
I don’t want you to feel like you are being evicted as your house really improved and your garden has grown so much over the past years. I am just trying to replace you with a better version of yourself, of myself. A version that builds houses with achieved dreams and accomplish goals. A version that waters her garden right and that likes to grow all kinds of flowers. A version that knows when to stop the crappy music and play some good one. A version that eats right for her meals and that likes to hang out with people. With worthy ones. A version that wants to improve every day. A version that enjoys the rain and does not sleep all day when the weather is bad. A version that is true to and loves herself.
I still feel the same sometimes even after your house is almost gone and your flowers don’t grow anymore but I know that someday, your place will be somebody’s else and I will be truly happy again. ”

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Leave a comment

  1. August 19, 2018 / 11:01 PM

    This is amazing, really. I think many of us can relate, and I plan to bookmark this to read again. Well-done and insightful. ♥️

    • August 19, 2018 / 11:07 PM

      Thank you! I am very happy that you liked it☺️

  2. August 13, 2018 / 11:09 AM

    I really really loved this post, I felt like I could relate so strongly. The way you worded it was perfect and really hit home. My anxiety has reared it’s ugly head every now and then and how you talk about anxiety being your friend is so accurate. It’s something that’s always lingering in the background, so here it to hoping for a better future and friend who realises their time is up! Really great post!

    • August 13, 2018 / 11:10 AM

      Thank you! I am really happy that you liked it☺️

  3. August 2, 2018 / 1:25 PM

    This is a really hope filled post and I think it will relate to a lot of people! Your unique and personal visualization really helps to drive home the point. Thanks so much for sharing your journey and thoughts with us!

    • August 2, 2018 / 2:48 PM

      Thank you for taking your time to read it! I am glad you like it☺️

  4. tara xox
    August 1, 2018 / 10:39 PM

    This is such a good article. No wonder you got nominated for sunshine blogger award x😁

  5. Sundry Versions
    August 1, 2018 / 11:22 AM

    Really liked the personification of anxiety to a friend who is not wanted but stays. And is not easy to be removed from one’s life. Because living with it becomes a subconscious habit. Also liked the ending with a hope of getting an improved & happier version of self 👍😇

  6. onelostcoin
    July 31, 2018 / 10:36 AM

    I love how you say it it a “fake friend”. How true is that? I also love how you compare it to a bedroom, then a house. So so true.
    Your Story Matters

  7. Dellybird
    July 31, 2018 / 9:25 AM

    Really well written post! I definitely identify with anxiety growing from lost dreams and goals never accomplished. As I got older, the worse it became. The feeling of being a failure for not reaching ‘life goals’, that you take for granted when you’re younger. It can be really hard to push that anxiety away and focus on the positive! I think it’s always important to have something to focus on, something to be able to build. Blogging has been a very positive thing for me! If you ever need a chat my DMs are always open 🙂

    • July 31, 2018 / 9:29 AM

      You have a point. As long as we are focused on something we have a “thing” to fight for. Thank you! And thank you for your comment☺️

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